Unfortunately, the topic of giving birth seems to be a very sensitive one. Often times I feel as though I’m walking on eggshells when discussing issues of labor and birth with women. A great divide exists in regards to philosophy of birth among caregivers, like obstetricians and midwives. In general, there is the medical model of birth and the midwifery model. How nice it would be if each “side” could always meet halfway and explore the others view with an open mind.
This splitting of views among caregivers in turn affects the women they care for. The “other” view (whatever that may be) is often portrayed as the “wrong” view, so birthing women, whether they agree with their caregiver or not, are often made to feel they have to defend the way they gave birth to avoid feeling out of control. Match a woman in that position with a woman who feels like she had total control of her birth experience, and what may be subtly perceived as a catfight may ensue. Worse, a woman may end up feeling hurt, confused, and regretful of certain aspects of her birth experience. This may lead to negative views towards labor and birth, in turn passing those views on to other women anticipating birth and to future generations of childbearing women.
Even if we each feel strongly in our beliefs of a certain birth philosophy, such as natural birth vs. medicated birth, or homebirth vs. hospital birth, it would be beneficial for us all to consider the possible benefits to each choice. What is good for one woman may be not be good for another. It is important to have choices in childbirth, and even more important to allow women to choose for themselves. “If you don’t know your options, you don’t have any,” is a quote I’m fond of. Of course, being educated in the risks and benefits of those choices is imperative. It would be ideal if the chosen caregiver honestly gave facts from all angles and from a variety of research to their patients.
Birthing women have power. They are consumers shopping for good prenatal care, for good labor support, and for good postpartum care. It’s time for more birthing women to embrace that power and demand more, demand better. Better in the sense of respect for their bodies, respect for their instincts, respect for the natural process of birth. Unless they expect better, these women will only receive what was given before.
Ask questions. Read a lot of books, a variety of books. Watch birth videos of both natural birth and medicated hospital birth. Interview caregivers. See who fits your needs best. Research everything. Question everything. It is okay to be strong. Pregnancy is not the time to sit back and allow others to make choices for you. If there is a time in life when you need to step up to the plate, this is it. Be brave, be bold, and be dedicated. Dedicate your passion to creating the best possible environment for your labor and birth. This is where motherhood begins.
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